Empathy is the ability to understand or feel what another person is experiencing, from within. In simpler words it can be understood as the ability to look at another person’s problem from his/her shoes. It is one of the essential and key features of communication.
In today’s world, this quality seems to be lacking in a lot of people, when they engage in conversation with their social groups. Not just social groups but even in a household where parents and children interact.
Very often children, especially adolescents complain
“My mother is not letting me go for my friend’s party’’
“My parents don’t even try to understand my feelings”
“They keep shouting at me very often” , etc.
Why do parents not try to empathise with their child?
Probably because they think the decisions they make for their children is always right. Parents need to recognise their kid for who they really are, and not set too many expectations. Sometimes when parents expect too much from their kids and when the kid does not live up to those, it causes anxiety in the child and anger in the parents. Is this healthy? Absolutely not!
Rather than trying to mould kids in a certain way, it would be so much better if parents let their children express themselves truly. Instead of immediately saying no to whatever their child asks, suggests, or expresses, parents can think about what they would do if they were in their child’s place. It would help them empathise with their child and make the correct choice, without hurting the child. Sometimes it is a little difficult to understand adolescents, however parents can be more patient with them and ask them non-probing questions and empathise.
Though it is a scary thought, parents must let their child fall and learn from his or her own mistakes because that’s how the child will learn more about himself/herself. Many parents still continue to live their lives through their child and stuff their unfulfilled desires and ambitions on them.
Parents can allow their children to explore and figure out what they really enjoy doing. I myself am a 19 year old girl who sometimes feels like her parents need to work more on how to understand their daughter. Most importantly, communicating with your child clearly will help you understand how they feel. Be gentle, calm, patient and do not shout at them because everybody has the right to express themselves, their thoughts and ideas, without being judged.
