“When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.” – Ralph Ellison

In a survey done by Tasha Eurich, an organizational psychologist, only 15% were found to be self-aware although 95% believed they were self-aware. Being aware of yourself need not happen only when you hit your midlife or when you go through some traumatic experiences. It can happen any time. Earlier it is the better for you.

 Life for most part appears to be in an auto-pilot mode. We get up, finish our chores and proceed to work. We spend our time working on projects, clients, employees and then we come back home with work of course. We want to spend that time with our little ones and with our partner or doing whatever we enjoy doing but then that critical project is due in two days and if you don’t deliver the client is going to be upset and all hell will break loose. Life has become so mechanical for most of us that if we do dare to hit the pause button and ask ourselves the question “what am I doing and why”, we may have a blank look.

Many of us realize that we are not aware of our life and who we are until some events shake us up, usually some health issue or a loss. Well, you don’t have to wait for it to happen before you can start your journey of discovery.

Here are 5 simple questions that you can ask yourself every day. When you respond to this please remember this is not an exam or a competition and hence there is no award for the best answer. This is for your good and hence be honest with yourself.  Capture the response in a note book so you can go through it to identify patterns.  See if you can do this activity at the end of the day. It may take not more than 15 minutes (It is ok; you can take a quick break from your routine and try this.)

1. What was the dominant feeling you had through the day?

We are so focused on our day to day tasks that we miss out on our feelings. We brush aside the feelings at times in the interest of completing the tasks and moving on to the next. Just close your eyes and replay the day in your mind. What came out as the most dominant feeling for most part of the day? Capture that in the notebook. Emotional Intelligence is a key skill required to succeed in your life which means you need to be aware of your feelings and manage it. Use the appropriate words to capture the feeling and the intensity.

2. What triggered this feeling in you?

We feel a certain way because of the way we think and process what is happening around us. Every day we are bombarded with thousands of thoughts. So think and see what thoughts triggered you to feel the way you felt

3. What did I do today that aligns with my goals?

First, it is preferable to set a goal for yourself so you know what you are trying to achieve. Then ask yourself, what did I do today that will take me closer to my goal. There is no point in just being busy doing things. It is important to be productive so you know you are spending your time wisely. Value your time.

4. How much time do you spend on yourself – “Me time”?

We spend our time doing one task after the other, trying to nurture relationship with other stakeholders that we forget to nurture a relationship with our own self. It is important for you to have that “me time” so you can reflect and think about your life purpose, values and align your goals accordingly. Spend at least 10 minutes sitting quietly and not thinking about your work or family or any other aspects. Just focus on yourself. 

5. What is that one small step you are going to take tomorrow?

If you are someone who has been spending some time on yourself, who has some goals to achieve then think of one action that you will definitely do, no matter what, that will take you closer towards your goal. If not, no matter how good your intention is, it will remain an unfulfilled dream without you taking action.

This is it. Just ask yourself these questions every day and write down your responses.  Make sure you spend time on reflection. You may be surprised to see what sort of pattern emerges. These are simple questions that you can respond without worrying about more profound questions at this point in time. Remember, life is not a competition to win. It is a pleasant journey to enjoy. What matters most is how happy are you doing what you do.